Family Life
by Eat.Pray.Fuqk
Summary: AU, A look inside what could have been if Minato and Kushina would have survived the resealing of the Kyuubi. Their reaction to the ups and downs of family life and how they handle it. Read and Review for more chapters!
1. Sunday Mornings

I do not own Naruto, If I did I'd manufacture a flying pig.

It was a bright sunny Sunday morning. Kushina was in the kitchen making breakfast, Daijiro was on the swing in the yard sleeping, Naruto was still upstairs sleeping and the new precious additions to the Uzumaki-Namikaze clan Nobuyuki, Noburu, and Yuu were in their play pen.

Minato chose this as the perfect time to read his paper. Just as he sat down to the kitchen table and opened to the first page Naruto came downstairs. "Morning, Dad. Morning, Kushina." He said his words slurred with sleep. "What?" Kushina asked. "Nothing." He said as he grabbed a plate and piled it with all the rice balls Kushina had made. "Stop right there, those are for everybody." Minato said. "I'm hungrier than ALL of you." Naruto said as he sat down across from his father and poured sugar on the rice-balls.

Minato just sighed and let him eat, until the smacking began. Naruto had this disgusting habit of smacking his lips together whenever he ate breakfast or carrots. It's wasn't all the time, so Minato usually ignored it. Today was a different story. It seemed to get louder and closer the better the paper got. Finally he laid the paper down and jumped out of his skin when he was looking straight into Naruto's sugar, rice coated face.

"Dad you know you want to give me money."

"What? I never want to give you money." Minato said.

"God said you have to because if not you'll get struck by lightening."

"..."

Minato grumbled profanities as he pulled his wallet out. "I only have a fifty." He said. "That's enough... For now." Naruto said as he grabbed it leaving Minato shocked. "Kushina do we have any ketchup?" Naruto asked. Minato got up to avoid what was coming next which was Kushina's fist. He gathered his paper and decided to go sit on the porch swing with Daijiro.

Daijiro enjoyed the simple things he usually slept on the porch swing after watching the sunset. Minato crept over slowly and sat softly so the swing wouldn't move and wake his son. "Ahh... Perfect." He muttered. He could finally enjoy his paper in peace.

After reading for a few minutes he felt something tap his leg he brushed it off and figured it was his imagination, then he heard Daijiro talking. "I'm gonna make your ice cream melt Naruto." He muttered as he kicked Minato in the head. "That skunk will get you!" He kicked again and ripped Minato's paper right down the middle.

"Now I need tape, great. Thanks Dai." He muttered. "Yeah, don't mention it." Daijiro said rolling over. Minato sulked all the way to house. He went into the kitchen drawer, got the tape, and went to the living room to try to save his paper.

He sat down on the sofa and relaxed. "Finally." He sighed out. He read his torn paper ignoring Kushina when she was taking the triplets out of the playpen, ignoring Naruto's pleas for more money, Until Kushina said, "Me and Naruto are like going to the store to get more rice watch the triplets!" As her and Naruto walked out. He sighed and opened his ears to noises.

After ten minutes a block came sailing through the air onto his head. He sat his paper down to police his children. "You guys can't throw blocks, that's dangerous in so many ways." They stared at him with their piercing blue eyes. "You understand what I'm-" That was when he heard it... A ripping sound a horrid ripping sound.

"No the paper!" He turned around to see Yuu ripping his paper and throwing the pieces on the floor. His jaw dropped and his eyes went wide with terror before he decided to throw in the towel and give up his Sunday morning. "It just wasn't meant to be... Come here Yuu!" He said grabbing his son and making him laugh.

The door opened and Naruto and Kushina both walked through with Naruto's shadow clones carrying all the bags. "Mom why'd you have to do that, that woman was a babe!" Naruto whined. "I went to school with her! She's easily 3 years older than me, maybe more!"

"She's prettier than you, which is shocking!" Naruto said. Kushina swung her fist meaning to hit Naruto but instead hit Daijiro. "Look at this mess you made Kushina!" Naruto exclaimed swinging his fist out hitting Daijiro again who had just recovered from Kushina's punch. "I swear to god that was an accident!" Naruto exclaimed. Kushina cracked her knuckles and swung again.

Minato sighed, His family was probably the wildest one in Konoha. When push came to shove though he wouldn't have it any other way.

That's it the first chapter of this whole family series. Poor Daijiro... He's always between his older brother and mother. The childrens' ages have changed since my last story. Yes, before you even ask Kushina and Minato will have many more kids.

Naruto- 14

Daijiro-11

Noburu- 3 (first born)

Nobuyuki- 3 (second born)

Yuu- 3 (last born)


	2. Kids

Chapter two! Enjoy. I do not own Naruto if I did... The buildings would be made out of provolone.

"Like, Minato. How do you feel about kids?" Kushina asked. "I like everybody's but ours." Minato responded filling out his paperwork. Just as he said that Daijiro fell into his office. "Sorry! Sorry!" He said as he closed the door back.

"... See what I mean." Minato said looking at Kushina. "Well um, like. I want more. Do you like want more?" She asked him. He looked up and she looked away. "Never mind 'ttebayo." She said quietly. He shrugged and put his nose back in his paperwork.

Later that day during dinner Kushina looked ill and Naruto was jumpy. Minato noticed but just took into consideration that Naruto was a momma's boy and was worried about her. A one point Kushina got up and went upstairs with Naruto following right behind her.

"Kushina..." Naruto said as he knocked lightly on bathroom door in his parent's room. She opened the door and pulled him in. "Put seals up so no one can hear us." Kushina whispered. "Why can't you do it?" Naruto asked. "I can't use chakra so, just put them up!" She whispered harshly.

After the seals were up she sat down on the floor and Naruto sat on the sink. "I'm like, um pregnant again 'ttebayo." Kushina stammered out. "That's like great!" Naruto exclaimed. "I don't like think your dad wants anymore kids." She said with tears in her eyes.

"I'll take care of you Kushina." Naruto said as he hugged her. "I keep forgetting you're my big strong man now. Thank you Naruto." She said smiling. "No problem Kushina." He said. "Stop calling me that, you make me feel old!" She said laughing.

They soon removed the seals and went back downstairs. "Mommy are you otay?" Yuu asked. "Yeah, Naru-chan's room smells like molding fish. So we had to go open windows." She said waving a hand in front of her face. The rest of dinner was spent listening to the tale of Daijiro's first mission.

Later that night Minato was opening windows in their bedroom while Kushina brushed her hair. "It's getting around family hair cut time. Naruto's starting to grow your sideburns, and Daijiro's almost waist length now..." Kushina said. "So, how many months pregnant are you?" Minato said as he laid down in bed. "Wha- You like knew this whole um time 'ttebayo?" Kushina shouted. "Yeah Kushina, you're so obvious I had to set up a shadow clone at dinner to make sure I didn't laugh at you." Minato said smiling. That's how the Uzumaki-Namikaze family gained a second entrance into the nursery.

Read and Review. :)


	3. Prank Day!

Blah Blah Blah, I don't own Naruto.

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><p>Naruto and his younger brother were 2 very different beings. Daijiro was calm, Naruto was hot headed, Daijiro was clean, Naruto was... Disgusting, Daijiro was 'down with the rainbow' as he told his parents, Naruto was a typical hetero male. There was one thing the two of them did have in common though... Their love of pranking people.<p>

One peaceful Saturday afternoon the two of them lay in the yard convinced that the world is going to end because of their boredom. "Want to dig holes?" Naruto suggested. "Ew, I don't want to get all dirty." Dai said cringing. "Pussy." Naruto muttered. "Want to make up a game?" Dai asked Naruto. "What kind of game?" Naruto responded with his head cocked to the side.

After hours of planning their 'game' they had created a scoreboard and rules. "If I win you have to double date with me." Dai said. "Oh hell no. You always date the strangest men. They're always so much older than you." Naruto said rolling his eyes. "You'll be there to protect me." Dai said as Naruto huffed. "Fine, but if I just so happen to win.. which I will. You'll have to treat me to all I can eat at Ichiraku." Naruto said grinning. "Deal."

The rules of the game now dubbed the 'prank off' were simple, if the village could see 2 points were rewarded, if they pranked their father 5 points were rewarded. If they got Kakashi's book away it was 7 points, if it got Jaraiya caught it was 10 points, and if they got their mom it was 15 points. They each had spotters, Sasuke and Konohamaru, and the triplets would tally up the score.

There were also bonuses. If somebody screamed 4 extra points, if somebody fell 3 extra points and if Jaraiya got beat up 7 extra points. They had from noon to 6 o'clock until Minato got home. "Okay let's go!" Naruto said as he ran out.

"I say we get Jaraiya-sensei first." Naruto said to Konohamaru. "Yeah, that'll be a cinch." Konohamaru agreed. They hopped from tree to tree finally arriving at the bathhouse where Jaraiya was watching the women. Konohamaru had transformed into a woman in a towel and blended in with all the other females waiting for the signal. Naruto hopped on a tree shrouded from Jaraiya and screamed loud as he could. Konohamaru prepared himself for his job as he saw Jaraiya falling from the tree.

"EEK! That creep was watching us ladies! Get him!" Konohamaru said dramatically. As all the girls bum rushed Jaraiya Konohamaru slipped away and dropped the jutsu. "Winning." Naruto said as he walked past Dai and Sasuke.

Dai and Sasuke's prank took them to the Uzumaki kitchen. Kushina's room. Nobody was allowed to mess it up or you'd have to face Kushina's wrath which had increased 10 fold since she became pregnant. Daijiro transformed into Naruto to infiltrate the kitchen, and began working up the nerves to go in. "Go in already!" Sasuke yelled. Dai took the plunge and walked in.

Kushina was sitting at the island idly reading a magazine. Dai pushed the door open and she looked up. "Oh, it's you 'ttebayo." She said smiling. Dai nodded. Naruto usually called their mom Kushina and went straight to the fridge so he tried to mimic it. "What you reading about Kushina?" He asked with his head in the fridge.

"Next generation baby names, how about Ryuukonsei 'ttebayo?" Kushina asked. 'Naruto' just kept pulling ingredients out. "I like that one Kushina." 'Naruto' said. Meanwhile Dai thought 'I'll win for sure if I pull this off.' He pulled out the blender as Naruto like as possible plugged it in and began putting different ingredients into it. Milk, eggs, butter, lard, peanuts, fish, his father's sake, and moldy cheese from the back of the fridge were included. Kushina's head was still down so she didn't see him press blend and run out. She looked up in horror as the liquid splashed onto her curtains and all over the window and wall.

"NARUTO NAMIKAZE!" She screamed out. On the other side of the village Naruto sneezed. "Eh, somebody must be talking about me. I bet it's a babe." Naruto said as he watched his exploding paint shadow clone disguised as a civilian go into the library. 10 seconds later he heard a scream and saw a group of people run out. "Win." He said as him and Konohamaru bumped fists.

Meanwhile Dai and Sasuke hid in the bushes by the Hokage tower as Dai prepared the 'weapons' paint cans with paper bombs on them. "I hope you can pull this off... This is the hokage after all." Sasuke said. "I got this just go do your job!" Dai rushed out.

Sasuke went up to the Hokage's office and the anbu smiled and let him through. "Hokage-sama." Sasuke said bowing. "Ah, Sasuke. What brings you here?" Minato said smiling. "I was coming to ask you formally." Sasuke said bowing. "Ask me what?" Minato asked stunned. "See I've loved him ever since we were children and now seems like the perfect time. May I marry Daijiro?" Sasuke said. "Oh Sasuke." Minato said putting his hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "You I and Anko-san are going to have a nice talk in the interrogation room!" He said as he pulled Sasuke out the room. "Hokage-sama, you're hurting me."

Meanwhile Dai took this time to scale the walls of his father's office and set the paint cans under Minato's desk. He heard him coming back so he jumped out the window and waited. "That was really easy." He said to himself.

"Wanting to marry my son. I hope Anko kills him." Minato muttered profanities about Sasuke all the way back upstairs. The second he sat in his chair his fate was sealed. 2 things happened to Minato he got covered in paint, and the force of the explosion threw him and his desk out the window. Then he screamed like a little girl.

Daijiro sat in the bushes laughing, one of those laughs where nothing comes out and your sides hurt. It got even worse when Kakashi walked by and got splashed with the remaining paint. His father's desk landed with a thud just as Sasuke walked out of the building. "This is some how your fault Sasuke!" Minato screamed. Sasuke vanished quicker than Minato and Daijiro followed.

"It's time to tally up the scores." Noburu whispered. As Naruto and Dai began recounting the day to Yuu and Nobuyuki. The end scores were Naruto 30, Daisuke 31. "YES!" Dai yelled hugging Sasuke. "Get ready for that date with us tomorrow." Daisuke said. "Us as in you and Sasuke? EW!" Naruto screamed.

Everything was all fun and games until Minato came in saw Sasuke and Dai touching, and Kushina found Naruto.

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><p>Third chapter down! Please review or I won't write anymore. :P<p> 


	4. Why They're So Close

Blah blah blahhhhhhh! I don't own Naruto. This chapter goes wayyyyyyyyy back. It'll explain why Kushina let's Naruto call her Kushina and why he can get away with so much.

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><p>Kushina Uzumaki-Namikaze was one of, if not the strongest Kunochi in Konoha, but she couldn't handle pregnancy. When she was pregnant with Naruto she didn't feel like this. Her ankles were past swollen, she was too tired to play with her little ball of sunshine, and Minato wasn't helping at all.<p>

In her 8th month of pregnancy at 1am she rolled over to discover an empty bed. That was the last straw. "Minato!" She cried out. "Yes Kushina? I'll come to bed soon as I'm done with my paperwork." Minato said never lifting his head from his desk. "Where were you at dinner?" She asked with he arms folded. "I was working." He responded. "You're always working!" She yelled.

"I have an important job!" He said rolling his eyes. "You also have a family!" She yelled back. Naruto had gotten up and was standing by the door to Minato's office. "Well what do you want me to go let the whole village down?" He retorted. "NO! But your son needs you, I need you!" She cried. "I'm doing my best!" He yelled. "DO BETTER!" She screamed as she raised her hand to hit him. He grabbed her wrist and squeezed it. "Go back to bed." He said pushing her.

Naruto had seen enough. "Don't push my mommy!" He yelled at Minato. "You too! Back to bed!" Kushina grabbed Naruto and took him to her and Minato's bedroom. "He's not staying here, momma." Naruto said as he pulled Minato's clothes out of the closet and threw them out the window. Kushina just laid in bed overwhelmed, sobbing.

An hour later Minato went to his room only to discover a locked door. "Kushina open the door!" He said pounding on the door wildly. Kushina's sobs grew erratic and she closed her eyes tight. Naruto covered her ears and screamed at his father. "LEAVE US ALONE! GO AWAY!" He yelled with tears in his eyes.

Finally the banging stopped and he heard the front door open and slam shut. He then focused on his mom. She was quiet and he hoped that she was sleeping. He pulled his hands off her ears, and sat on the bed watching her. "You're not going to, um leave like your dad right?" She stammered out. "Of course not, 'ttebayo. Now get some rest." He said smiling. She closed her eyes back and fell asleep. "I'll take care of you mom."

About a week later Kushina started wincing in pain ever so often. When she dropped her bowl at dinner and started crying Naruto was alarmed. He gathered some of her things and some of his things and they began to walk to the hospital. "We're almost there momma." he whispered. Kushina just nodded in response and continued walking.

She was in labor for hours. Naruto was so worried he didn't sleep. Finally after 13 agonizing hours and a blood transfusion Daijiro was bought into the world. Naruto was the first to hold him and the first to feed him. "Don't you think your mom would like to hold him?" A nurse asked Naruto. "No she's too tired." Naruto said smiling. In reality Kushina had denounced the child. She didn't even want to look at him let alone hold him.

By the time they were released she still hadn't held her baby, and Minato still wasn't home. Naruto was doing everything. He'd make dinner for Kushina and himself, feed the baby, change the baby, and make sure Kushina was okay before he went to sleep only to wake a little while later to feed his younger brother. He thought his mom would be better soon, but he found that was a long way off.

One day when they ran out of milk and formula Naruto went to retrieve some like usual. People asked him how his mom was and when they would be able to see the baby. He just replied 'fine' and 'I don't know.' He paid and rushed home. When he got there he heard his mother's screaming and his brother's cries. He sat the milk down and ran off to the nursery.

"STOP CRYING!" Kushina yelled at Daijiro. He continued crying with his grubby little hands outstretched towards her. "SHUT UP! STOP CRYING!" She screamed. Finally Naruto pulled her away. "Mom, Kushina! Go to the kitchen and have some tea! I'll take care of him." Naruto yelled at his mom as he pulled his brother from the crib.

Later on that night Naruto went into his mother's room with scissors and a brush. "Mom I have to cut your hair." Naruto said as he climbed onto her bed. She didn't respond, but he continued talking as though she had. "I know haircuts suck but your bangs are like to your chin and your hair drags behind you." He said laughing. He put it into a ponytail and cut it so it was just above her waist. He went in front of her and brushed her bangs. "Sit up straight so I cut them even." Naruto muttered. She listened and stiffened her back.

"I cut them kind of different. They're not like your side bangs anymore." Naruto said as he brushed her hair. She didn't answer. "I hate cutting your hair, I love it so much." He continued to ramble. "I'm making fish for dinner, I... Damn it Mom! Are you ever going to get better?" He rushed out. "You can't just mope forever! I know it sucks, it sucks to have a baby, it sucks that dad isn't here! I know, but life goes on. Life goes on mom." Naruto said as he stormed out.

A month later Naruto was fed up. So fed up he strapped his baby brother onto his back and stormed off to the Hokage office. He didn't knock as he opened the door and slammed it back. "Naruto! What are you doing here! Is that the baby?" Minato said rushing over and hugging them both. "She won't get out of bed, she won't eat! You need to come home!" He said with tears in his eyes.

Minato felt guilty, his son had dark purple bags under his eyes and his hair had grown out straight out of his usual spikes. Later that day after he sent Naruto home he approached the council about him stepping down for 5 months. They said he worked too much and gave him a year off.

When Naruto heard the cries over the baby monitor he got up and opened the door. He didn't count on seeing his mom in the room feeding Daijiro. She turned and smiled at him and nodded. He went back to bed and got to sleep through the whole night for the first time since his brother was born.

The next morning he got up and went downstairs to fix breakfast, when he opened the kitchen door he didn't expect to see his mom and dad sitting at the island talking. "Morning Naruto." Kushina said smiling. Minato smiled at him as well. He walked to the cabinent and pulled out a pan he got the eggs and butter out as well. "You know how to cook?" Minato asked. "I had to cook. Somebody had to feed me and Kushina." He said as he scrambled eggs.

"Kushina?" Minato questioned him when he called her by her name instead of saying mom or mommy. She just shook her head and said "He grew up." Minato 'ohhed' and she smiled. He had taken care of his little brother and his mother for the past year basically. He really kept his promise.

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><p>There you have it... I feel that this chapter was very touching and now maybe it'll help you understand why Naruto and Kushina's relationship is the way it is. On another note the lack of reviews is fucking ridiculous! I have over a thousand story views and only 1 review. Please review people. I accept constructive criticism and all that jazz. Just review and no one gets hurt! R&amp;R People!<p> 


	5. Coming Out

I don't own Naruto :)

Age 11

"Mom I... Never mind." Daijiro muttered and walked off. Kushina turned from the sink just in time to see his receding back. "Dai..." She started, but didn't finish. He'd tell her in time.

Age 12

"Mom, dad, can we talk?" Daijiro said as he walked into the kitchen. "Sure." Minato said smiling. "I... I'm..." Dai stuttered out. "Is everything okay?" Kushina asked softly. "Yeah..." Daijiro said shaking his head. "...Yeah I just had a really bad... mission." He finished with tears in his eyes. Soon after he began sobbing, he laid his head on Minato's lap.

Kushina and Minato did their best to comfort him. Soon it seemed he had cried himself to sleep. "What's going on with him?" Minato whispered. Kushina just shook her head and ran her fingers through his hair. 'He's not ready, yet.'

Age 13

"Mom. Did you ever feel different when you were my age?"

"Different like what?"

"I... I don't..."

"Did I ever experiment?"

"Um..."

"When I was your age, I didn't know which way was up."

"Mom... I don't... I don't think."

"No matter who or what you are, I'll love you regardless. Don't worry so much."

Daijiro gaped at his mother then smiled and hugged her tightly. "You knew?" He asked skeptically. "A mother always knows kiddo. You're on your own with your dad... This isn't my battle." Kushina said as she pat Daijiro's head softly. Daijiro sighed contemplating whether to talk to his dad or Naruto first. 'Naruto would be the easiest.' He nodded to himself as he pulled his waist length hair into a ponytail.

"So..."

"Yeah..."

"Why are you here?"

"To have a brotherly chat."

"Oh... I was asleep."

"Naruto..."

"Okay, I'm up now."

"Naruto, I..."

"Can you hurry this up?"

"Naruto I'm gay."

"What? You're day?"

"GAY!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah."

"That's kind of cool. Thanks for telling me."

Daijiro was once again shocked by the reaction he got. "So you're okay, with this?" He asked softly. Naruto nodded. "I mean I'll have to get used to it but... You're my brother, and you're unique and I love you." Naruto said. Daijiro kept his head down. "Dai?" Naruto whispered rubbing his back. "Thank you, so much. Thank you so much!" He rushed out twice as he hugged Naruto tight as his body let him. "I was so scared big brother, I was so scared you wouldn't love me." He sobbed into his brother's shoulder.

"I will always love you, it doesn't matter what you prefer. Now stop crying, come back and get me later and we can watch a movie." Naruto said smiling. Movies always cheered Daijiro up. "Thank you." Daijiro said once more as he got up and walked off to his dad's study. He knocked and pushed the door open. 'Oh he's not here.' He thought as he sat down in the reading chair by the window. 'I guess I'll wait.'

Minato returned to home after a long day of work. "It'll feel so good to be home. I've been waiting for this all day." He told Fugaku who was in mid-yawn beside him. "Yeah, Sasuke's home from that mission." He said slowly. "That means Naruto's home." Minato said smiling. He loved hearing about his son's missions. "Well this is my stop. Take care Fugaku. Tell Mikoto I said hi." Minato yelled down the street with a wave.

Pushing the front door open he kissed Kushina, got trampled by the troublesome three, and proceeded up to his office. When he swung open the two doors he didn't expect to see Daijiro curled into a ball in the chair in the corner sleeping. 'That's strange.' He thought as he walked over slowly.

"Hey buddy, wake up." Minato said shaking his son. Both Naruto and Dai had inherited Kushina's ability to sleep through anything. "Come on, bud." He said shaking him a bit rougher. "Yeah, I'm up." Dai said as he opened his eyes. "What are you doing sleeping in my office?" Minato asked with slight worry in his voice. The kids only waited for him to get home from work when they had something bad to tell him.

"I... Have to talk to you."

"About what, kid?"

"I... Um."

"Is it about sex?"

"Err... No."

"I'm glad."

"If I tell you this... You have to promise not to be disappointed."

"You didn't kill somebody did you?"

"NO!"

"Did you get a girl pregnant?"

"No..."

"There's nothing worse than that..."

"Dad, I'm gay."

Daijiro winced as his dad looked away, with a far away look in his eyes and went silent. His eyes started watering as thoughts of all things his father could say to him raced through his mind. After what seemed like hours of silence his dad finally spoke.

"Happy?"

"No dad, gay as in homosexual."

"No what I meant was, are you happy?"

"I don't..."

"You're going to be happy with a man right?"

Daijiro gazed at his dad with a confused look in his eyes. "Yeah... If I find the right one." He replied skeptically. "Well as long as you're happy, then I'm happy." Minato said with a smile. "I won't treat you any differently either. There's nothing wrong with being homosexual. We all have the same basic properties, we all have to eat, drink, in order to survive. We are all human no matter what race we are, or what village we come from." By now Daijiro had tears in his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you so much." Minato was knocked back from the force Dai hugged him with but he hugged back just as tight. "I love you Daijiro." He whispered into his son's hair. "I love you too Pa."

FIN: Okay my first update in forfrickenEver! I hope it made you all happy. This chapter is in honor of the upcoming gay pride parade :^) Next chapter will uplift spirits hopefully. This sad/angsty chapter was important thought... Well read and review!


	6. A Hole In The Wall

I don't own Naruto.

"Okay bye Naruto, Sasuke, Daijiro. Make sure the triplets eat!" Kushina yelled from the carriage. "This is the first time I'm leaving you three alone since... The incident. So no girls! Or Boys! No people at all!" Minato added with a pointed glance towards Daijiro. "Have a safe trip!" Sasuke shouted as the carriage rolled off.

"Out of sight?" Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded. "Ahh... They're gone! Party!" He exclaimed. "No. Not this time. Remember what happened last time?" Daijiro said nodding towards Sasuke. "I'll never be able to look at Kiba the same again." He muttered with his head down.

"Mama." Nobuyuki said as he ran down the stairs. "She's not here." Naruto said. They watched in fear as his face scrunched up, in confusion first, then it happened. "Mama, gone?" He asked again with a quivering lip. "Don't cry!" Naruto yelled. His attempts were in vain because soon as the words left his mouth the temper tantrum hit full blast. "MAMA!" He cried loudly. Soon the others were coming downstairs. "Mama, gone!" Nobuyuki yelled at them as soon as they trotted in. "Momma No!" Yuu cried out.

"This is getting out of hand." Sasuke yelled. "WHAT?" Naruto yelled back.

"THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND!"

"GET YOUR OWN FRICKEN PAN!"

"HAND!"

"IT'S NOT RANED! IT'S RAN!

"..."

They were about to open their mouths to yell again, but the crying stopped. Daijiro was down on his knees giving each of them kisses on their nose. "Dai! Me love Dai!" Yuu said giggling. Naruto mouthed a silent 'thank you' and Sasuke nodded his appreciation. "Who wants dinner!" Dai yelled enthusiastically. It was going to be a long weekend.

After the boys were put to bed. Sasuke decided to sleep in Daijiro's room and Naruto decided to put up a few barrier seals around the door forcing Sasuke to sleep in the guest room where some of his things remained. As soon as everybody got comfortable and closed their eyes. One of the triplets began crying loudly. "It's going to be a very long night." Daijiro muttered.

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><p>"I'm kicking your ass. I'm whopping your ass!" Naruto said as he punched the air, the afternoon had been going well... Perfect actually nothing bad had happened. No temper tantrums, no crying. Just some quality time with the Wii. The Wii remote slipped from Naruto's hand and flew into the wall.<p>

"Haha, loser bitch." Sasuke said as he K. the handicapped blonde. "No fair!" Naruto cried. "Not my fault your remote keeps hitting the same spot on the wall. Looks like you chipped the paint." Sasuke said laughing. Naruto sent a death glare at him and threw a pillow at his head. When Sasuke threw a pillow back at him he knocked over one of Kushina's vases.

"Great Aunt Kim gave her that... It's her favorite! Oh shit. We are in so much trouble." Naruto cried out. Dai ran down the stairs with a towel wrapped around his body, shampoo in his hair, dripping wet. "What was that?" He screamed. While Naruto and Dai freaked out over the vase. Sasuke sneaked a few peeks. "Stop staring at my ass and wait here while I go get dressed!" Dai yelled heatedly.

"You break a family heirloom, beat me at Wii boxing, and check out my brother... I'm so not talking to you for five minutes." Naruto said turning his back. "Okay so I saw a vase just like that at Tonike's antique shop a few days ago when I was looking for a gift for Konohamaru's birthday. Its so hideous, I'm assuming it's still there." Daijiro said as he ran downstairs wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a off the shoulder shirt. "Sasuke can you braid my hair?" He nodded and pulled his hair back and braided it tight as he could.

"Ball?" Yuu asked Sasuke. Sasuke shook his head and went back to braiding Dai's hair. Yuu sighed and groaned as everybody appeared to be too busy to play, but Naruto always wanted to play. "Ball!" Yuu yelled as he kicked it to Naruto. Naruto moved aside just enough to expose the weak spot in the wall to the flying red instrument of doom. "NOOOOOOO!" Dai yelled out as the ball slammed into the wall and it cracked.

"..."

"Oh my god."

"... That was fucking ridiculous."

Daijiro always being the reasonable one, collected himself and began thinking. "Okay we have 4 days to fix a wall, and buy a vase. Plenty of time. First things first. Sasuke take the boys to Mrs. Hirobumi's house." Sasuke grabbed the triplets and walked them down the street.

Naruto sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I could have walked them." He muttered. "What does Sasuke think about me?" Daijiro asked. "He always talks about you..." Naruto said. They both jumped as the door opened and shut back. "Okay, now what?" Sasuke said panting. "Operation: Save Face is a go." They all grabbed their things and left just in time to miss the phone ring.

"You've reached the Namikaze-Uzumaki household. None of us can get to the phone right now. If this is somebody calling for Dai, please don't just leave a 5 minute message of you breathing. Thanks."

"I guess you're all out, the convention is going to run short..."

* * *

><p>"You sold it!" Sasuke screeched at Old Lady Tokine. "Yes I sell vase to Hitsugaya-san not to long ago." She replied. "Thanks I guess." Daijiro said grabbing Naruto and Sasuke and pulling them out. "You know what this means right?" He asked with a dark shadow over his eyes. They both shook their heads dumbly. "We're getting this vase no matter what."<p>

"Hello."

"Um... Hello, how may I help you?"

"I think I'm your long lost son. You're Ai Hitsugaya right?"

"Yes I am, but I don't think I ever had a son."

"But you don't know for sure. You hesitated."

The plan was to distract the old woman while Sasuke shimmered in, stole the vase and left the money. That went according to plan. Naruto kept the old woman at the door longer than needed to ensure they didn't get caught.

"Where's dad?"

"Listen here sonny, I never had no son."

"Okay, okay jeez disown me mother. It's all good." Naruto muttered as he walked off. He bumped fists with Dai as he and Sasuke ran off to the paint store. 'Together' he thought with gritted teeth, but he'd worry about that later for now he had to carry the vase across the village.

* * *

><p>As they opened door and waited for Naruto's shadow clone to bring the paint sample they began to sing to entertain themselves. Sasuke and Daijiro were so close to each other they were people who could just look at each other and know what the other one was thinking.<p>

"First I was afraid..."

"I was petrified..."

"Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side."

"But then I spent so many..."

"Ahem."

The clone announced its presence and handed them the paint sample. They rushed to the paint section of the hardware store and waited for someone to help them. Finally an overly tan, blonde girl with a name tag that said Britney came over to help them.

"Hi, I'm Britney and I'll be assisting you today."

"We need to find this color paint." Daijiro said handing her the paint sample.

"Alright, Cute shirt by the way. Is it real or a knock-off?"

Daijiro gritted his teeth and smiled. "It's real."

"Really, huh. Interesting." Britney said flipping through a book.

"Slut." Daijiro muttered and winced when Sasuke pinched him.

"Sorry to tell you, but we don't have this color."

Daijiro's face turned into mask of horror. "Do you have something similar?" He asked eagerly. "Yeah we have one called 'Desert Eye' it's very similar to what you're looking for." She replied. "I'll go get you guys some cans of it." She said. After a few nail biting moments she returned with the cans and Spackle. Sasuke lifted them and waited as Daijiro grabbed brushes. "So do you work out, big boy?" Britney asked leaning over the counter, goods on display. "Um... I'm a chunin I train daily."

"Nice... I've been thinking about getting a personal trainer. You fit the bill..." She said grabbing for his bicep. Daijiro grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly. "I don't think you should do that." He whispered quietly. "How about I ring you up, with my employee discount?" She said nervously. Daijiro gave her a look that said 'yeah, how about you do that.'

* * *

><p>"We're back!" Sasuke yelled as he opened the door. Naruto was pacing. "Did you get the paint?" He asked. They nodded and laid the tarp down. After everybody had changed into already damaged clothes they opened the paint.<p>

"That bitch. She gave us the wrong color!"

"Yup, we're dead."

"Maybe if we stir it."

"It'll get darker."

"Chill, we have white paint in the garage."

"So we can lighten it just enough."

"So we're going to live...?"

"Shut up Naruto."

After lightening the paint to a degree, the Spackled over the hole and let it dry. Daijiro noticed the answering machine blinking. He pressed the button and his heart flew out his mouth.

"Hi guys! I guess you're all out... The convention is going to run short so your mother and I should be home tomorrow morning, I hope everything is intact and the triplets are behaving. We'll see you guys soon."

"He's never late so it's 110% guaranteed that he'll be here on time. That means we have...10 hours to paint the entire living room a shade darker." Sasuke groaned. Daijiro shook his head. "We can do it!" Naruto yelled. They had the entire wall painted with 3 coats done in an hour.

After 4 hours of non-stop painting they had decided that it looked decent. "Great effort. Now clean up and we can go to sleep." Daijiro yawned out. They drug the big buckets of paint, the tarp, and the the brushes and threw them away at the dumpster down the street.

Naruto and Sasuke both ended up laying on Daijiro's bedroom floor. "I can't believe we pulled that off." Naruto muttered. He received two yawns as a response. Just as they all drifted off into a peaceful quiet sleep... It's really quiet. "THE TRIPLETS!" Sasuke yelled as he sat up. "WE FORGOT THEM!" Daijiro screamed. Naruto grabbed his house keys and ran out followed by Dai and Sasuke.

They knocked harshly on Mrs. Hirobumi's door. After five minutes she opened it with rollers in her hair and a pink robe on. "Oh it's you three. I put the boys in bed I thought you were never coming back. It's so nice how you guys painted for your parents, and Sasuke. Mikoto must be so proud of you for helping."

Daijiro sighed 'she talks so much, probably doesn't know what time it is.' Finally she let them in to take the kids. "Oh and don't tell our parents about this." They all whispered harshly. Remembering how they got busted for the party. "Okay will do... You guys take care of those angels... I remember when you all were their age..." She looked up and realized they were gone.

They finally crawled back to their original sleeping spots at four only to have the babies start crying a few minutes later. "We should have left them there." Naruto muttered with a dark shadow over his eyes.

At 6am the moment of truth came when Kushina and Minato opened the front door. The triplets were being fed and Naruto and Sasuke were sprawled out on the couch. Yuu's yell of 'Mama!' Startled Sasuke and he screamed earning a scream from Naruto. After a few seconds they were both back to being asleep.

"Everything seems to be in perfect order." Minato said as he sorted though the mail. "That's weird a letter from 'Tools R' Us'..." He muttered. Everybody's ears perked up. "The rebate check attached is linked to your purchase of over... 8000 yen! NARUTO! SASUKE! DAIJIRO!"

"I knew it was too good to be true."

* * *

><p>FIN: There my longest and funniest chapter yet. Please review :)<p> 


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